The quiet voices in my mind...how often do I listen to them? How often are they even right? Do I have a system of checks and balances to weigh the true from untrue? How would I know? Do I share them with others? Can I be so vunerable or transparent?
I know for me those whisperings become louder and stronger and more controlling if I do not check them against my system, my rock, the scripture and friends who love the scripture too! I do struggle with dangling whispers that can become a constant shout at times. I know that I am not alone in such a struggle. If we were all true to what our "conscience" speaks we would agree, we must have some "plumb line" from which we determine what to trust, what to believe, what to follow from our consciences.
God promises in Isaiah 26:3 that, "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you." What a wonderful promise! How I wish I could do that! I struggle with those thoughts that take me down the negative road of thinking. The thoughts that seem to cripple me from thinking or focusing on just a verse as this one. I do almost need a "remembral" like the one mentioned in Harry Potter, to help me recall what I have just forgotten. How ingnorant, how simple I feel at times.
Do I share these thoughts or whisperings with others? Not hardly! I am of the tendency to turn inward and magnify these thoughts until the unreal has the nagging ability to become reality. Or at least something I begin to believe. I have found that when I do share, I am met with two varying reponses. One is the friend who looks somewhat taken aback and says, why would you even think that? Therefore, in my mind, defeat is accepted and a sense of stupidity is adorned.
The other is the one who seeks to dig deeper, taking time to blow the smoke away from the smoke screen billowing in my mind. The latter friend tends to have his/her own whisperings and is willing to admit the same and is therefore able to love and not judge, to probe but not stab, to ask and then wait. It seems to have an evening effect, stabilizing, that enables me to seek out the truth instead of be hardened to it. If I am but willing these friends, my treasures, help direct me back to my plumb, Jesus Christ.
I am truly thankful for those friends who do love beyond initial platitudes. Who are willing to sit with me a while. Who are willing to walk the journey with me. Who themselves are willing to be vunerable. It is through them, and God's word, that I am able to decipher the "whisperings" in my mind. To only accept those that help build my house to "plumb" and put off those that will ultimately destroy. I pray that I can develop the tendency to be vunerable and transparent throughout this journey.
